Whenever a child is exhibiting signs of ADHD, take a step back, take a deep breath, count to ten, and think about the situation from the child's point of view. Try to identify the child's regulatory sensory processing challenges that could be contributing to the behavior. What is this child like physically? Think about the child's history. Does the child have difficulty understanding words, or does she miss visual cues? Does the child get disorganized by noise or lights or crowds? Is the child oversensitive to certain stimuli or underreactive, or does she crave certain stimuli?
Yes, there may be biological factors contributing to her difficulties, and not all these factors are changeable, in the short run at least, and some not in the long run. But most can be overcome, or at least the child can gradually learn to compensate for them effectively. Whether or not parents choose to seek help for their child, they need to understand her profile, her distinct way of approaching and reacting to the world. Accommodations For ADHD Students
Avoid "Simple" Solutions
Complex problems often have complex solutions. The analogy of putting a child on an antibiotic for a strep throat doesn't work for most complex problems. It is very easy for families to turn quickly to medication - a pill that will solve the problem. It is not that medication shouldn't be considered as part of a comprehensive program, but it should never be considered alone or be the first thing you try. Once you begin a comprehensive program and see how the child is doing, you can then decide whether medication can or should play a role, and add it in later. I find that as a general rule, the less you are asking medication to do, the more likely it will be helpful if it is needed later on. As we have seen, often these challenges can be handled "without a pill" by strengthening all the child's processing abilities and her ways of coping with a tendency to get overloaded by different kinds of stimuli in the environment.
Work As a Team and Bring Out the Best in Each Other
The third step is to make sure - and save time for this - the parents and other caregivers work together as a team. For parents, this means having regular time with each other in the evening not just to discuss the child but aim to nurture one another. If they feel underappreciated and unloved, they will have a hard time summoning the patience and energy to meet the child's needs. A family will then tend to get locked into the patterns we have been describing.
Parents need nurturing time as well as time to discuss problems with one another each and every day, often after the children are asleep. They also need at least one evening or other time during the week when they go off by themselves to keep that nurturing relationship kindled between them. If the caregivers are a grandmother and her daughter, they need to go off and just be together and enjoy each other. Nannies and sitters, of course, need both days off and appreciative support. Finally, there should also be regular meetings with the educators and therapists working with the child to coordinate an overall team approach. When families find they can't resolve all this on their own, they need to seek out a counselor or a therapist to help them try to resolve these conflicts.
Bringing out the best in the other means both support and self-awareness. For example, a mother can say to herself, "What kind of support can I give my husband that will help him respond less punitively and take a more compassionate and understanding approach to our son?"
A father has to say the same thing: "What can I do to help my wife?" Both need to ask, "What does our child need, and who can best provide it? What makes me so irritated with him when my husband [wife] doesn't seem to notice? Why do I lash out so easily?" Each parent must take time to understand the other parent's feelings so that they can work together in a reflective way. A reflective attitude means being able to watch how you are responding and examine your own feelings and the feelings of your spouse, or in-laws, or parents, as well as the reactions of your child. Accommodations For ADHD Students
A reflective family sets more effective limits. Don't get caught up in trying to be consistently tough and a disciplinarian or easygoing and permissive. Thoughtful limits that don't overwhelm children help them eventually internalize limits and expand their own limit-setting ability.
Find Environments That Contribute to the Child's Growth
Last, but not least, it is very important to find educational and therapeutic environments for the child that contribute to the child's growth. A busy classroom in a very busy school may be overwhelming for a sensory overreactive preschool or grade school child. This child may need a small, nurturing, soothing classroom and school atmosphere. You might have to search for a charter school or private school, or even consider home schooling if it is possible. You want to find an environment in which the child is likely to function at his best. To find out more, you have to check out Accommodations For ADHD Students.
