Chad always seemed to cover for Dusty when he was in trouble. But I can remember one time when the roles were reversed and Dusty stood up for his big brother. Chad got into trouble once in high school, and as a result, was suspended from playing in two football games. He was really upset about it. Well, I took the family out to eat at this catfish place, and after we had ordered our food, I made a caustic remark about Chad's behavior.
"Boy, oh boy. I hope you had a really good time with those friends of yours because you've embarrassed your mama and me real good, Son. You should know better! We raised you better! Where were your brains, Boy? And your team was counting on you! What kind of example are you, anyway?"
Dusty got tears in his eyes during my tirade, and got up to go to the restroom. As he left the table, he looked at me and said, "I don't care what my brother does. I love him!" That shut me up real quick. It showed me in no uncertain terms the bonding that had occurred between the boys over the years. Activities For Children With ADHD In Preschool
Dusty has always looked up to Chad, and for good reason. Chad is extremely intelligent and an unbelievable overcomer. Chad has always had to fight asthma and he's allergic to everything, which has really been a struggle, especially as a college athlete. All this to say that Chad has had to overcome a lot to be what he is today. He plays football for Mississippi College as a defensive back and tailback, and Lauree and I are proud of what he has accomplished, both scholastically and athletically.
Well, a couple of years ago, a confrontation occurred between Chad and Dusty that had a dramatic impact on Dusty's life. Despite the three years between them, the younger brother outweighs the older by about 30 pounds, even though they are the same height. Now this wouldn't matter much, except that Dusty's extra weight is such an advantage to him. The problem was, Dusty, who doesn't have asthma and is so strong that he's on the State Power Lifting Team, was just throwing his athletic talent away because of his ADHD. He had so much potential but it was going down the drain.
He was misunderstood by his coaches because of the difficulty he has paying attention. Dusty simply wasn't responding to their instructions, or their yelling, or their disciplinary measures. He started to make excuses to them and to me. He began to think that they didn't like him. and so Dusty became indolent and uninterested in football, even though he had the talent to play.
Well, big brother Chad noticed what was happening - that Dusty was lazy and playing the blame game, so he went up to the sports field house and took him right off the field in the middle of practice! He had a face-to-face confrontation: "Swanbergs give it everything they've got, and you're a Swanberg. We work out hard, and we don't take the easy way out of things. We pay attention and we don't complain. Now, you get out there and be a Swanberg, and don't let anyone ever say that a Swanberg is lazy or whiny or a complainer!"
Dusty respects his big brother so much that he turned around and went into the weight room and started doing squat repetitions on the weights. Heavy duty, nonstop. And then he went outside and ran and did "bear crawls." He was never the same after that! He is now a hard-working lineman and a hard-nosed weight lifter who came in fourth in state competition this year. And it's all because his big brother stepped into his life with a tough love message and a challenge. If that same challenge had been given by a coach or even by me, his dad, I don't think it would have mattered as much. Big brother made all the difference in the world.
Chad calls Dusty regularly from college and tells him he loves him and believes in him. Here Chad, the A student, is encouraging his little brother, the ADHD student who struggles to make B's and C's and often has to settle for D's. Dusty says he gets those calls just when he needs them. So often when he's depressed and struggling with academics, the phone rings and it's Chad. Those calls are what make it possible for Dusty to get through another day at school. It's because his big brother believes in him. Activities For Children With ADHD In Preschool
Brothers and sisters of ADHD kids have every right to ask their parents, "Hey! What about me?" We spent so much time with Dusty taking him to tutoring, learning centers, and teacher's conferences, that he was going through life as the "little kingpin" of the family. Our lives revolved around him.
I think there is an analogy to the lesson in Scripture about the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). In that parable, the good son who did everything right was not the one who received the best robe and the fattened calf. He served his father day in and day out, yet the focus of the celebration was his younger brother, who squandered his share of the inheritance and returned home a broken man.
Although this is a beautiful parable of God's treatment of sinners, I think parents have to remember the "good children" at home who may appear to not need as much attention as their ADHD brother or sister, but in many ways need just as much. It's as exhausting for them to be in a household with one of these kids as it is for the parents.
Diane and Dennis: One of the neat outcomes for the kind of relationship that Dusty and Danielle have had with Chad and Nicole is that they are wonderful "mentors" themselves when it comes to working with younger kids. They learned firsthand from their siblings how to "be there" for kids who may be underdogs. For example, Dusty has a great relationship with a 10-year-old neighbor boy, and has really come into his own in the role of mentor. Danielle has taught a program called Summerbridge for children who need that extra push to succeed in school. We believe that Dusty and Danielle have a heart for people because of the healthy relationships they had with their older brother and sister.
That will conclude how important brothers, sisters and family are to ADHD kids. These kids need the support from their family more than anything else. If you are interested to learn more, you can get Activities For Children With ADHD In Preschool right now!
