Language and Ideas
As children learn to talk and use ideas, they become still more in control of their world and more secure. They feel more calm and collected, regardless of regulatory or sensory processing patterns. They can use words and ideas to express desires. They can use words to say "Swing, swing" to help them calm down, or to get Daddy to hold out his hands, or "Jump" to bring out the mattress or trampoline. The child can now ask for what he wants.
Pretend play is another way of expressing desires. A doll can be "scared" because there are loud noises like thunder. Children can show you by the way they stroke a teddy bear whether they like tickly touch or firm pressure. A child who is nonverbal can use pictures to show you what he or a doll likes. By communicating in this way he feels empowered.
Logical Thinking
At the next stage, as the child gets closer to the ages of three to five years, he is combining ideas. When you ask, "Why do you want to go outside?" the child says, "Because I want to run." Or he can explain when you ask why he looks sad that his sister won't play with him. The child who is combining ideas and understands cause and effect, noticing that this action leads to that result, can express that with ideas: "Mommy, that's too loud!" or "Mommy, I don't like it when the children bang into me" (for the child who is oversensitive to touch or sound). The child who needs more movement or sensation may say, "Mommy, I can't sit still. I need to go outside and run." How Do You Know If Your ADD
Visual-Spatial Challenges. Logical thinking can also be developed in the visual-spatial realm. Help a child figure out how block designs work, how mirror images work. For example, show how two identical amounts of clay can be in the shape of a snake or a ball. See if the child thinks the long, thin piece is better than the round one. You can do the same thing with a tall, thin glass of water and a wide glass of water. In all of this the child is developing logical thought, strengthening processing abilities, and at the same time engaging in longer and more elaborate focused attention.
Underreactive Child. A child who is underreactive may invite you into her pretend play if you have been a good social partner before. She may prefer a quiet game, but if you feel she is talking to only herself, that's your signal to energize up and make the pretend more creative and interactive. Also, this child might avoid physical activity that requires a lot of motor output. You might need to entice her through playing dress-up as her favorite TV character.
The favorite TV character can go on an adventure with Daddy that will require going on balance beams and standing on Koosh pads and doing all kinds of interesting things. The point is, now the child can actually say to you, "Daddy, I'm scared! I don't know if I can go over the water on the balance beam" (a make-believe bridge). Daddy says, "Oh, I'll be here to hold your hand. I'll be here to catch you, and I'll be your superhero friend." He then encourages the child to take a chance. The newly developed logical thinking can help children expand their abilities in other areas.
The verbal child can now tell you when she is frustrated or doesn't like something, and you can empathize with her. This helps as you slowly expose her to more and more sensory experiences that she may not enjoy initially. By making a fun game out of it with a lot of verbal interaction and reassurance, when she gets used to it she is going to find it more fun. Let the child express her concern or anxiety or fear or worries, and if you listen and bring it into the pretend play and are empathetic, the child will gradually master these worries and fears more and more, and become master of her own feelings. The key is not to push the child to inhibit the feeling but to express it in a comforting, secure environment with an empathetic caregiver. A child who can express her feelings and even learn to control them is less apt to try to escape them in wild, impulsive activity or by constantly changing the subject. How Do You Know If Your ADD
Multicausal and Gray-Area Thinking
As we go up the ladder of logical thinking we get into multicausal thinking (between ages four and six years) in which the child can give you many reasons that he is feeling overloaded or craving more action. Then we get into gray-area thinking (between ages seven and nine) where the child can deal with degrees of feeling. He can tell you just how much touch he wants - "Just a little firmer" or "A little harder here, Mommy" as you give him a foot massage. Or as you are swinging, "A little more, Daddy" or "A little less, Mommy." So he can really now regulate his sensory and motor worlds and fine-tune them, not just go for all-or-nothing: "Slow." "Fast." "Stop."
The sensory-craving child, the child who is on the move, can modulate more finely - a little bit faster, much faster. Now you can have a dialogue and discussion while you are doing it, and the child can tell you just how he feels: "This feels really exciting" or "This feels a little scary" or "This is boring."
You want to help the child strengthen his ability to do multicausal thinking, to give you many reasons for why he wants to do or have something. Ask him why he wants to go next door. He may answer, "Because I need fresh air." "Why do you need fresh air?" "Because I've been sitting in school all day. Anyway, they are playing baseball, and that's my favorite game." At the same time while you are asking him "Why?" you are looking at your child and listening to him intently. The child is focusing because he is interested in the topic, and you're picking up on his natural interests and encouraging him to think in more complex ways about them. To learn more, you can check out How Do You Know If Your ADD.
