I began to suspect that maybe I did have some type of problem with learning information. My physics professor was the one who figured out something was wrong. In one way, I'm relieved to know why everything is so much more difficult for me, but in another way, it really hasn't made much difference.
I've always had a lot of energy, but I would never want to change that or the way my brain works. I know my thought process is different from other kids because what I'm thinking about a subject never matches what comes out of other people's mouths. It shows up all the time in class. Other students will think about a piece of literature in the same way in class discussions, but when I think of something to contribute, I just get blank looks.
What makes perfect sense to me doesn't make sense logically to others. My professors think I add a lot of spice to discussions, but most of the kids never get the point I'm trying to make. The same thing happens when I'm looking at mathematical problems. I remember one day when I was looking through a book of brainteasers with my friends. We came to a problem that we all wanted to do. Within 25 seconds, I had figured out the answer to the problem. My friends were at it for another 10 minutes.
The time difference was not what impressed everyone.., it was the method I had used to solve the problem. No one understood what I had done, even though I tried to explain it. My approach was not even in the answer section of the book. I'm not saying that I'm brilliant, but I do think I'm blessed with thinking in a unique way because of being ADHD. I know that my mind goes much faster than others', and I can see ways to solve problems that they can't.
I even look at engineering problems differently from my fellow students. I can usually figure out unusual solutions to projects, but I couldn't tell you how I got there! Coaches and professors associate learning disabilities with being unintelligent, rather than as a different way of learning. Because I've been diagnosed with this disability, I'm entitled to have 30 percent longer to take an exam, but I've always been reluctant to ask for that time because I don't know how a professor will react.
Most professors automatically look down on you if they know you have ADHD. There is a professor in the education department at Dartmouth who has even said publicly that any kid with a learning disability doesn't belong in an Ivy League institution.
Even though I am entitled legally to have extra time on assignments, I never ask for it for fear the professor will think I'm trying to get out of something. I took an engineering quiz the other day, and I knew the answers to every question. But I was able to finish only half of it. I would have a better GPA if I took advantage of the legislation, but I just don't want to deal with the embarrassment and the hassle.
Although i have some distractive and hyperactive tendencies in my ADHD testing results, my real problem happens in lecture classes. I can hang on to the first couple of words uttered by a professor, but then there seems to be a roadblock. By the time my brain has sorted out the sentence, I have missed the rest of the information.
Lectures with the professor as a talking head are pretty useless, but if he uses overheads, or if the class notes are on the Web, I'll do great with processing the data. My learning disability resulted in really bad communication with my college softball coach. Most coaches rely on oral instructions to relay their ideas and wisdom to their players; however, the oral part just doesn't work for me. I need to be shown the concept. My coaches lost confidence that I would be a star player at the collegiate level because I just couldn't understand their instructions.
Game after game and practice after practice, my coaches would yell at me for "not listening" to what they had told me to do, and I couldn't make them understand that I was listening.., perhaps more intently than anyone else on the team. I just couldn't get those words to make sense in my head.
Finally, in my junior year, after I had the testing done for ADHD, I figured out what was wrong. For example, my softball coach had explained to me time and time again what needed to be done when there's a runner on first base and a runner on third base. As the shortstop, there were three things that I might have to do. Every time a first and third situation would happen, I would frantically try to review what she had verbally told me, but every time I messed it up.
One day she decided to draw it on the board. I went back out on the field, and I haven't messed up a first and third situation since then. I only wish she had used that teaching method from day one of my freshman season. I missed a lot because I learned differently than my fellow players. Most coaches don't have the patience to work with the "odd" athlete. So many kids with ADHD are treated this way , .. like they're stupid. They are stuck in a world that doesn't understand them while they are doing everything in their power to make sense of their daily lives.
It makes me wonder how many brilliant minds - musicians, athletes, writers, and so on - we've lost because no one was willing to teach them in a way that they were able to understand.
I can't say it has been easy for me in college. Dartmouth has a 10-week term, so the coursework is very fast-paced, and a lot of ground is covered in a short amount of time. I do have to work harder than my friends, and being in a Division I athletic program further complicates things. However, despite all the problems, I think I am having a more fulfilling college experience than many other kids because I have to intentionally work harder than they do. Just because I have a learning disability is no reason to put the brakes on what I can accomplish.
People are always complimenting me because I'm involved in so many activities. I think I have a more exciting life than they do because of my energy and my interest in a lot of different things. I wouldn't trade the way I am for anything.
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