Dennis: I know that a measurement for progress is important in school, so we can't really do away with grades. I only wish that kids with ADHD could see beyond the structure of their world as defined by their school surroundings. The famous people I've read about who have or may have had ADHD have survived in spite of school. This is a sad commentary. The kid who looks out the window at school and daydreams can become the adult with the drive and ambition to make it big. However, they will never know that if they only pay attention to their ranking in class or their latest test scores or the teacher's often harsh reprimands.
I've read the llfe stories of several prominent people in the last several years: singer Harry Belafonte. mystery writer Dame Agatha Christie, billionaire businessman Malcolm Forbes, and General George Patton. All of these people showed the capacity for accomplishment despite their inauspicious beginnings in school, I think children with ADHD need to be reminded constantly that what God will accomplish in their lifetimes, if they are submitted to him, goes far beyond the classroom during their first 18 years on this planet.
Diane: When I was in my early teens, my mother used to say to me, "The best friends you will make in life come after you graduate from high school." Although I didn't say so to her face, I didn't believe her at the time. I thought, What could matter more than high school? I'll always remember EVERYTHING about this time, and I'll always be best friends with so and so. What Is Attention Deficit Disorder
Well, I'm on the other side of age 50 now, and the last time I set eyes on one of my high school acquaintances was about four years ago. The friends I have now didn't even grow up in the same state that I did. All this to say that it would be so much easier on our ADHD kids if we could free their minds from the difficulties they are currently experiencing and open their eyes to the possibilities that lie ahead for them.
One of my friends sent her severely ADHD child to Landmark College in Vermont, a campus specifically geared for young adults with learning disabilities. She told me, with a great deal of emotion, how her daughter's life had changed when she could actually see the possibilities available for her future. Our kids need to know that we serve a God of hope - One who has our future in the palm of his hand.
Dr. Larimore: Dr. Dobson writes, "Some adults with ADHD learn to be less disorganized and impulsive as they get older. They channel their energy into sports activities or professions in which they function very well."
Studies have demonstrated that about 50 percent of adults with ADHD function normally, but the other half continue to have a wide variety of social difficulties. A small percentage have severe problems with their ADHD as adults. Nevertheless, with understanding parents, teachers, and career counselors, ADHD teens and young adults can find professions in which their attention deficit differences are a benefit.
A principal that I have found useful in helping them find their role in God's plan for their lives is teaching them to avoid the "you should" comments. Often, kids will hear teachers, coaches, Scout leaders, parents, or even a pastor tell them what they should do." Now, when it comes to biblical absolutes, the "shoulds" are vital to being highly healthy. But when it comes to career choices, they may be harmful. What Is Attention Deficit Disorder
For example, Daryl was a patient of mine for over 15 years. His parents never qulte understood this principle. Daryl did exceptionally well with his ADHD, but in college he took the courses his parents told him he should take, so that he could go into the career they thought he should pursue. When I saw him in the office, it was because he was flunking his course work, His parents thought I should change his treatment.
As Daryl and I talked about his gifts and talents, as we explored those things that really gave him satisfaction and energy and interest, they all revolved around the entertainment world. It became clear to me that Daryl's parents were trying to create a marigold out of a daisy. But, as we talked, I focused Daryl's "shoulds" into "coulds" and "woulds."
What he really wanted to do was to get into TV or theatre production. "I love that world, Dr. Walt," he told me, "but my parents don't. They tell me I should do something else."
I encouraged Daryl's morn to allow Daryl to try an entertainment curriculum at his college. She reluctantly agreed. "I guess he couldn't do any worse!" she scoffed.
Now, finding your place in life is difficult for many people without ADHD, but it's particularly difficult and important for those with ADHD to do this. We, as their friends, parents, teachers, pastors, youth leaders, and coaches, must be part of this process. Let's not lay our "shoulds" on their "coulds" and "woulds."
So do you want to know more about ADHD? Get What Is Attention Deficit Disorder and learn how to handle ADHD children to make sure they grow up like normal kids!
