ADHD children tend to be restless, and as a result, are noncompliant in situations that require compliance. For example, getting an ADHD kid ready for school can start the entire day off on the wrong foot for a parent. These kids forget their jackets, their lunch boxes, and their homework.
Dennis recalls one day in particular when he yelled three times at Dusty because he was going to miss the school bus if he didn't hurry and finish his breakfast: " 'HURRY UP!' I hollered. He gave me this blank look from the dining table and responded. 'Daddy, could a bazooka come through that wall right there?'"
These characteristics can drive a parent nuts! Dennis recalls another incident: It was January, really cold, and my turn to drive my sons to the Christian school, which was about 20 miles from our home. We were almost at school when Dusty started to cry in the backseat.
"Daddy, you're going to be mad at me... really mad."
"What is it, Son?"
"You're going to really be mad, Dad!"
I gripped the steering wheel and ground my teeth, "I won't be mad. What is it?"
"I forgot my shoes!"
I lost it! "Couldn't you figure that out walking from the house to the car?"
Dusty's big brother started in making excuses for him, which just made me madder! "He didn't mean to forget the shoos, Dad. Give him a break. We all make mistakes!"
But I ignored Chad because I was so mad. and I just screamed louder. "You're going to school just the way you are! I'm not going back for those shoes! And Chad, since you're making so many excuses for your brother, you can go to the office with him because I'm not leaving this car!" How Do You Get Adhd
Later I called Lauree and told her what happened. I screamed into the phone, "HE'S GOT TO LEARN RESPONSIBILITY! IF YOU WANT HIM TO HAVE SHOES, YOU'LL HAVE TO BRING THEM BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO!" Lauree responded in her sweetest voice that I had every right to be mad, but that I was wrong to make Chad assume the parent role by taking Dusty to the office. She had a point there, and in hindsight, I should have handled the situation differently and gone into the office with Dusty. But this kind of thing happens all the time with kids who have ADHD, and parents do lose it once in a while.
However, the same ADHD adults or children who can drive teachers, employers, parents, and spousals nuts with certain characteristics also have traits that are so admirable, so valuable, that if reinforced make them people to be reckoned with. It is as if their brain chemistry enables them to size up people and situations much more quickly than the average person. They have intuitive capabilities that lead to creative problem solving, and when this is paired with their high energy levels, it is no wonder that so many of them become entrepreneurs, engineers, artists, and problem solvers.
In Danielle's first engineering class at Dartmouth, the professor challenged the students to develop and test a project that had not been attempted before. Since she loves to snowboard, Danielle decided to invent a lock that was built into the board so that keeping track of a key was not necessary. Burton Snowboards, a leader in the industry, gave her project team several boards on which to try out this invention. It was so successful that several companies have since expressed an interest in the patent. The professor laughingly commented to Danielle that hers was one of the most unusual ideas ever proposed in this particular course, and her team was given publicity in the alumni newsletter, a further singular occurrence. How Do You Get Adhd
During a break at a Focus on the Family Heritage Builders Conference in Colorado Springs, Dennis engaged in a conversation with a gentleman who owned a very successful. nationwide chain of restaurants. They shared their common experiences of growing up with ADHD. What impressed Dennis so much, however, was the vision and entrepreneurial spirit of this man. He had been incredibly successful as an adult, but was full of creative ideas for projects that he still wanted to accomplish.
Diane's daughter Danielle has a similar style of problem solving as that admitted to by Charles Schwab during an interview for Fortune magazine. Schwab, the gentleman who almost single-handedly founded the discount brokerage business, has a learning disability that impacted him while growing up, and as a result is very sensitive to the pain that children endure when they are different from everyone else in the classroom. His advice to children who suffer with disabilities like he did is this: "You've just got to learn your way through it because there are some things you can do that others cannot, and there are some things others can do you're just not going to be able to do, ever. Now my experience has been that what works is to go a little bit slower ....
Although Schwab's disability was diagnosed as dyslexia, his brain works similarly to many children and adults who have ADHD. In this same interview he stated, "Many times I can see a solution to something and synthesize things differently and quicker than other people .... [In meetings], I would see the end zone and say, 'This is where we need to go.'" He continued by saying that his way of thinking was an annoyance to sequential thinkers because it "shortcuts their rigorous step-by-step process."
The important point to make to your child is that a diagnosis of ADHD is not a "death sentence." He or she is in the same boat as many successful folks who have overcome the differences of ADHD. One particularly interesting Internet site lists famous folks in several fields, including the arts, business, science, sports, and entertainment, that you may wish to explore with your child. If for no other purpose, it will give a healthy dose of self-esteem to the child who may be struggling with some of the same issues that these folks did! So check out SchwabLearning.org with your child.
To learn more about ADHD, you can get How Do You Get Adhd and read how to handle children with ADHD.
