Danielle listened to this verbal assault for a while, and then quietly said, "Morn, maybe God's place for me on this team was never the infield, but the bench. I know I've been an encouragement to team members who don't get to play very much. Maybe this is the role that the Lord has for me in college, rather than the starter role I had in high school." Diane was stunned into silence, for out of the mouth of her daughter had come a wonderful, godly response.
Later, when Danielle told her coach that she would not compete her senior year of college softball, the coach responded, "I hope you reconsider because you are the soul of the team."
Danielle had lived out the word "encourager" by the way she had lived her life, even when profoundly discouraged about not playing more often. She had ministered to her teammates. Dusty too has been an encourager to others, particularly a younger boy in the neighborhood who has some physical problems to contend with. It brings tears to the eyes of parents when they witness this type of behavior being exhibited by a child who is supposed to be the "one with the problem." Now, that's not to say that every child with ADHD is naturally encouraging, but it's a trait we've often observed.
We also have another observation, which probably doesn't have any scientific data whatsoever to back it up, but ADHD children seem to be intensely spiritual. This is another reason we selected Psalm 50 to begin. If these kids have been introduced to Jesus Christ, they call out to him loud and often! And at an early age. They seem to be more aware of their vulnerability than the average kid. Treatment For ADHD Inattentive Type
Dennis recalls with a mixture of embarrassment and pride Dusty's pronouncement that he had become a Christian: "I didn't believe it at first because he has such an imagination! One day Dusty announced to the family that he had accepted Jesus as his Savior. He was seven years old. Even his brother, Chad, said, 'You didn't get saved. You just want attention from Mom and Dad.' Well, I sat down with him on his bed and said, 'Are you sure you're not saying this or doing this just because of your folks and your brother?' Dusty said, 'I asked Jesus into my heart. I was jumping up and down on the trampoline by myself, and I got on my knees and asked Jesus into rny heart.' So I said to him, 'Well, let me lead you in prayer about that.' But Dusty replied, 'Why, Dad? I already did it!'
"Well, I'm not exactly proud of the fact that I still had trouble believing him, so I suggested we go out to the trampoline and that he show me what he'd done. After that, we went back to his bedroom, and I prayed a prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord for giving me such a special little boy. I went and got the camera and took a photo of Dusty so he would always remember that October 1st was his spiritual birthday."
Danielle and Dusty have wonderful consciences - they want to make right the things that they do wrong. Again, this seems to us to be a characteristic they share with many other kids with ADHD. They are often the first in the family to go to church because of their heart for God. Dusty plays that rote in his family even though Dennis is a former pastor.
Danielle attends church at Dartmouth even though it involves a 60-mile bus trip into an adjacent state when all of her friends are sleeping in on Sunday mornings. These types of characteristics make it all the more important for parents to develop a "battle plan" to assist their children with their learning disorders. They are worth the extra work and the extra financial sacrifice. God can use them in mighty ways.
Another part of the battle plan is finding the right strategy to use at home to help ensure the success of your child.
Every child is unique, so your solutions will have a distinct flavor to them. For example, many of the strategies used by Dennis and Lauree with Dusty would not have been successful if used with Danielle.
Danielle was absolutely useless if she did not get enough sleep at night when she was in high school, so Diane helped her plan her schedule so that on most school evenings she got at least eight hours of sleep. Sometimes this meant creative solutions, like making a bed in the backseat of the car when coming home from a nighttime soccer game. But this worked in the Passno family to help her achieve her goals. Treatment For ADHD Inattentive Type
Dusty, on the other hand, responds to structure in routine and negative consequences if he departs from that structure. Now that Dusty is in his late teens, he must get up or his own, shower, dress, make his bed, and clean up his room before leaving the house. Otherwise, no truck, no jeep, no fun weekends. He does best in school when the teacher gives him structure as well: worksheets with expectations, clear due dates for assignments, and so forth.
Both Danielle and Dusty are fascinated by, and quite adept at, the computer. This seems to be characteristic of many children with ADHD: The computer keeps them focused, entertained, and occupied! They are much less distracted when using a computer than reading a book. If you can afford a computer for your home, we would highly recommend the purchase. If not, many schools have computer labs that students can access after hours, as do many public libraries.
Dennis and Lauree also tried another "technological" experiment that worked with Dusty, although it has been a complete failure with Danieile: the cell phone. The Swanbergs have given Dusty a cell phone with voicemail so that they can remind him to retrieve what he has forgotten at home: his backpack, shoulder pads, books - things he "stepped over" on the way to the car! (Can you hear Dennis grinding his teeth about now?)
The Swanbergs and the Passnos are in agreement about one solution: the use of appropriate rewards for behavior that you want repeated! Rewards don't have to be material in nature; words of praise and encouragement are all the reward that is necessary at times. However, Dusty's motivation to do well in school is spelled out in two words: JEEP and FOOTBALL. Danielle thrives on competition, so every assignment is a race to be won.
A good grade on a paper is what excites her, even now as a college senior! So think about what works with your child, and don't think of using rewards as bribery. Rather, think of them as a technique to build your your child up to reach the potential the Lord has built into his or her genetic code!
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